You two are a match made in heaven, just like thunder and lightning!

I never expected this to happen! Congratulations on your engagement!

I am so happy for you and your new ring! And your fiance seems ok too.

There are two types of couples. The first type is the couple who fights and argues after getting engaged. The second type… is yet to be discovered.

Engagement marks the apex of a relationship’s love and happiness. It’s all downhill from here. Congratulations.

Engagement advice: make sure the ring is really tight so it can never be taken off!

Congratulations on finding the one person you want to annoy for the rest of your life!

Congratulations on your catch. Now don’t drop them!

There are two ways to get jailed for life. One is to commit a bad crime and the second is to get hitched. Congratulations for choosing the latter.

When you told us you were seeing someone we thought you were joking. Now you’re engaged, congratulations!

Congratulations for finally getting the right to officially annoy, irritate and frustrate your partner for the rest of your life.

Getting engaged is like putting a down payment on a mortgage which you will be a lifetime liability. Congratulations.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.

Congratulations for getting engaged. Now let’s mourn the demise of FUN IN YOUR LIFE.

Congratulations for getting engaged. Your love’s bubble bursts now.

I can’t believe you found someone that can stand you for more than an hour at a time! Congratulations!

Hey buddy, by exchanging the engagement rings you have automatically invited the most severe sufferings. I will pray to almighty to keep you away from sufferings and you get to enjoy the nectar-like pleasures of the wedding. Happy engagement!

I must say, I am so proud of you for getting engaged out of love. I always figured you’d get knocked up first!

The bachelor brigade has lost one of their own. Congratulations to you buddy, but we are mourning the loss of a fallen soldier.

You are engaged to your love. Oh! That’s good. Now even God thinks before showing mercy on you. Welcome to sweet hell where you are always a pig reined by your love. Congratulations!

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.

Engagement… the point when the woman will stop worrying about makeup and the man will stop worrying about holding his belly in. Congratulations.

Wow. Honestly, this whole time I thought they were imaginary. Congratulations on your engagement!

Congratulations for getting engaged. How does it feel getting handcuffed?

Marriage is the world’s oldest workshop: the husband works while the wife shops!

Congratulations for getting engaged. None of us thought you both would make it.

Ever since you were young, we thought you’d be single forever. Congratulations on your engagement!

Congratulations for getting engaged. Now you will be paying for two tickets to see one movie.

Your life is like an orange now which would be ground in juicer always and whose juice your going to be wife will drink always. Enjoy this caged life. congratulations on your engagement!

I can’t wait to get drunk on expensive champagne at your wedding. Happy engagement!

On your engagement, I am probably the happiest person in the world because slowly and steadily, you will get to understand and experience the pain and torture I am going through. God bless your holy bond and happy engagement!

Never again laugh at your fiance’s choices, because you are one of them!

Finally… you have a reason to get pregnant. Congratulations.

Engagement party, bachelor party, wedding party, anniversary party, kid’s birthday party… wow, your engagement seems to mark the beginning of endless partying. I can’t wait, congratulations.

Marriage is like a deck of cards. At the start, the only thing you need is two hearts and a diamond. But after a while you start hunting for a club and a spade.

I have pictures. You know the ones. Leave a bag of money at my doorstep by 6:30am. But seriously, congratulations on your engagement!

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